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Print Edition> Lifestyle
UPDATED: January 4, 2010 NO. 1 JANUARY 7, 2010
'I'm Sorry' Posting
A poster on a popular Chinese online community provides young Chinese netizens with a chance to look back at their past and address regrets
By DING WENLEI
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MY ENVY: Doraemon, the cat-like robot and one of those most successful Japanese cartoon characters, has a time machine that many young Chinese dream they had (BAIDU) 

Having a time machine like the cute Japanese cartoon character Doraemon was once a dream shared by many Chinese born in the 1980s and 1990s. Now a message posted at Tianya forum, one of the most popular of China's online communities, provides them with a virtual version.

A seemingly meaningless post in May 2008, saying "I'm going back to 1997, and I will miss you guys and will not fail you in your trust," regained popularity at the end of 2009. By December 28, it had attracted more than 1.6 million visits and nearly 19,000 replies.

Although some replies are humorous, many of them express regrets or reminiscences of the past. The more replies the poster attracts, the more serious and sentimental the content becomes.

As a piece of the proverb says, "By ignorance we make mistakes, and by mistakes we learn." Young Chinese in these replies show remorse over mistakes they made as students, as the beloved single child, or as someone's sweetheart, husband or wife.

Growing pains

If you could return to any period of your life, what would it be? It's a question many ask or have been asked, given that movies and fictions with time-travel themes are especially popular today.

The "time travel" poster on Tianya forum sounds like a joke, but it triggers introspective reflection on what was missing from the years of growing up when those born in the 1980s became the dominant group in society, said Zong Chunshan, Director of the Beijing Legal and Psychological Consulting Center for Minors.

Unlike their parents—who had siblings and colorful outdoor games during their childhood—the one-child generations have grown up watching cartoons including Doraemon, a cat-like robot from the 24th century, and playing computer games. "Freed from any worries or material shortages though, most of them overlooked a lot of previous things that had to do with experiencing growing up," Zong said.

In their replies to the poster, some say they want to win back their parents' or grandparents' love. Others hope to have more time to be with them, and help them win their battles against illnesses or warn them of imminent accidents.

One reply reads: "Please find the flighty boy, and remind him to bring money and find his mother the best hospital when a deadly disease hits her…and ask him to be patient with all her nagging because in 10 years he only had more of it in dreams…"

But would they use a time machine if one did exist? Some followers of the poster said "no." As the 2004 American psychological thriller movie, The Butterfly Effect, showed, they realize people could not guarantee that they would not commit any more mistakes or have no more regrets even if they found a way to go back to correct them.

"Life is an ongoing education, we cannot correct our mistakes but we can make up for the wrongs we inflicted on our beloved ones and on ourselves through new actions," said Wang Ping living in Beijing. Wang lost her father to cancer in 2007, three months after she gave birth to her son.

Reality anxiety

The "time travel" poster also reflects people's anxiety about reality and their unpredictable futures. Followers of the poster enter into discussion a lot about the topics of housing, employment and living costs, apart from love and family affection.

"While reading the poster, I have seen a lot of my peers under great pressure of living, guys who are struggling between dreams and reality about love, family and career," said Wu Ning. Wu graduated in the summer of 2008 and has only managed to make ends meet during the past year with a monthly salary of about 3,000 yuan ($439) in Beijing.

One reply says, "If I could go back to 2005, I would have bought myself a small apartment even if I had to borrow most of the down payment from friends and relatives." Another reads, "I swear I would have worked much harder, gone to college and found a better job, if I were given a chance to be a middle school student again."

"It's not important whether you want to go back to 1997 or 2007, but the things the virtual space offers us is retreat from great living pressures to the release of emotions," said Liu Ligang, Associate Professor of Journalism at the Minzu University of China." They hope to go back to the past and correct their mistakes because they are not satisfied with their current lives, nor are they sure about the future."

But some psychologists warn against indulging in such negative emotions. "They are clutching at straws and this mindset betrays their diffidence—they are not sure whether they can change the current situation and are full of fears for the future," said Kang Xin, a senior therapist and a member of the Chinese Psychological Society." Young people have to recognize their true selves, improve their self-esteem and understand that all kinds of hardships and experiences are indispensable in anyone's life, before they can meet challenges from real life in a positive frame of mind," he said.



 
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