(LI SHIGONG)

Foreigners teaching English in China routinely find themselves in odd situations. One of the oddest, at least for the newcomer, is being thrust into a room packed ceiling-to-floor with every major under the sun, except English, and being expected to make said group conversant in the missing language.

Even at a glance, this setup is screwy for at least three reasons. First, I have yet to see any university English department in China sufficiently staffed with foreign instructors. Invariably, there are never enough foreign teachers to even cover the English department classes.

Next, as the majority of these non-English post-grads will only ever use English for further exams or technical reading (concerning their major), it would obviously be better for a Chinese teacher, an expert in these areas, to take these classes on.

Last, and far from least, the listening-speaking level of this type of class is often so low that the foreign teacher might have as much luck descanting the lessons in medieval French. What's needed, of course, is a Chinese teacher giving a serious course in basic English.

The sad and sorry fact, friend, is that you are there.

Fear not. Just read on, and armed with the tips hereafter explained, you'll be able to put in a respectable (if not actually instructional) performance in this situation.

With a group so large (always from 50 to 100)—often low in English ability, and not infrequently rather disinterested—you need immediately to get the lay of the land. In short order, you need to conduct quickie personal interviews, assign monitors, and get an official class roster.

To wit: After the de rigueur three-minute self-intro, I announce that I want to speak to them one-by-one (this will create something of a minor hubbub, being such an unheard of idea.). First, you need to have each student clearly write his or her name in Chinese (and attach the pinyin), and his or her student number, as well. Initially, I leave the talk open-ended with, "Tell me something about yourself." If this goes nowhere, as frequently it does, a few simple questions about age, birthplace, and family will suffice.

Based on my 10-plus years in Chinese universities, I guesstimate that somewhere around 50 percent of your average non-English major post-grads will have a poor grasp of the language.

You need to devise some fast evaluation-notation for these interviews— I just use 1 to 4, 1 denoting "Can't speak a word," and 4 "Can order lunch in an American diner."

Now, take a look at the name sheet you've just made and pick the three best. These lucky winners are your monitors and will maintain the class roster. Next you need a good textbook. If the university hasn't assigned one, get your own.

Text in hand, you now need to hit upon a method of using it. By method, I mean a procedure you follow more-or-less closely every class. For example, new vocabulary (repetition, asking for definitions in English), simple grammar points, dialogues, small group activities, and so on. Depending on the character of the class (active, quiet, good-humored, hopeless, etc.), it may take you a couple of weeks to work out a method. However, once you've got one, my advice is to stick to it: It will be a lot easier for you to prep the lessons every week and a whole lot easier for the students to follow what's going on, or at least pretend to.

In most Chinese universities, midterms are something akin to electives (i.e. something existing wholly in theory), with all the professors forcing the students to bet the farm on the dreaded finals. For a language class, this system grades the foolish into the absurd. My recommendation is that if you've got, say, 15 weeks, have short exams of pairs reciting memorized dialogues and answering a few questions on the fifth, 10th, and last class. By the end you'll have three exam scores plus 25 percent for showing up for class.

Remember, in these types of classes, only about a third of your total are going to attend every week—so much the better, as the no-shows are always the deadwood anyway.

On the face of it, teaching the post-grad non-English majors looks simple enough. In practice, however, this type of course is fraught with pitfalls and potholes. Therefore, just keep four points in mind: class size and level, student management, an organized use of the textbook, and a number of short exams.

Did I mention that a good sense of humor is indispensable?

The author is an American teaching in Hebei Province