WANTING THE BEST FOR CHILDREN: Mary Wight, 35, a New York mother of two, with her sons Salvador (front) and Sebastian (CORRIE DOSH)

New Yorkers often say that it is easier to get their kids into Harvard University than into a top-tier private preschool. This may be an exaggeration but it's not far from the truth, said Amanda Uhry, founder and President of Manhattan Private School Advisors (MPSA), the city's largest private school advisory firm.

"The problem with New York is that the public education system failed our kids," Uhry said. "It began to fail them 30 years ago, and we didn't do anything about it. We don't have a better public education system than we did 15 years ago or 20 years ago, we have a worse one—and parents that ordinarily would have sent their kids to good, decent public schools cannot rightfully send their kids there."

A rash of budget cuts have propelled many New York parents from the public system into the arena of independent school admissions, Uhry said. The number of applications to the private sector increases by about 11 percent to 17 percent each year, exacerbating an "already overwhelming level of competition for spots." One top-tier local private school, for example, received over 3,000 applications this year, for 166 spots.

"Who do you take? I can imagine that you could take all the applications of the adorable kindergarten kids, throw them out of the window and take the first 60 and they'd do just fine in school, but it doesn't work like that," Uhry said. "It's a nightmare, but people are still willing to do it. Your kids are your message to the future. You will live in a one-bedroom apartment on 1st Avenue to send your kids to [top-tier private school] Horace Mann."

Average tuition at private schools in New York runs about $40,000 per year, said Uhry, and a K-12 private education totals $750,000. Parents of toddlers just entering the world of child education often feel a sense of sticker shock.

"[The cost of private education is] completely ridiculous," said Sarah English, 32, mother of three-year-old Beulah. "That said, if I had tons and tons of money to burn, I wouldn't hesitate to spend it on a ridiculously expensive preschool if I felt it were the right situation for her."

English currently enrolls her daughter at a New York preschool offered by the local public university, but said she has "no idea if this choice will affect her educational future." What she wants for her daughter's preschool education is "lots of play, both physical activities and quiet time, and enough structure and rules to minimize chaos."

While happy with her current choice of preschools, English said she is concerned about her daughter's future educational options.

"In a perfect world, I could just send my daughter to the local public school and not have to worry about it. That's not how it is! I have no idea yet how we'll navigate the system, and try not to stress about it too much yet. We have another few years at her current preschool," English said.

Private schools are expensive, Uhry said, and not always worth the cost. There is no "perfect school" and success is based on the needs of the individual child. Even students at "top" schools may encounter a teacher they don't like, she said. Every school in the United States today, public and private, aspires to produce the same thing in its students, Uhry tells her clients, a self-motivated, independent learner who has good study and time management skills and can take what he or she learns in one academic or social area and use and apply it elsewhere.

"A smart kid will do well anywhere, a dumb kid will do badly everywhere, and parents have to accept that," Uhry said. "The problem is when it costs $40,000 a year, parents become clients of the schools instead of parents of the schools. You have rights. It gets very complicated when parents start dictating things at the school."