A Wavering DINK Family

By WANG HAIRONG

It was Saturday evening. In a large three-bedroom apartment in Beijing, Liu Bei and her husband were watching TV. As there were no children or elderly at home, the apartment looked unusually spacious and tidy.

Liu just turned 41, and works at a computer company. Her husband is a professor at Peking University. While a typical Chinese couple at their age is usually busy helping their child with his or her homework and escorting him or her to weekend training classes, Liu and her husband are more carefree, as they have no children.

A family that opts not to have children is called a DINK family, the abbreviation for "double income, no kids." In recent decades, DINK families have become a social phenomenon in China, and many such families can be found in cities.

Liu and her husband met at school and got married more than 10 years ago. They chose not to have a child for a number of reasons. Liu found that many Chinese parents sacrificed their personal freedom to care for their children. She did not want to spend her youth changing diapers and breastfeeding. Liu was afraid that motherhood would make her feel old at heart. She wanted to be young and free, so she resisted the idea of having a baby.

Liu also thought the world was very crowded, therefore making life stressful. A child has to study hard at school and compete fiercely for a job after growing up. Liu decided that if she could not give a baby a wonderful life, then she would rather not have one.

Their childfree days flew by. Liu worked at a private company, working hard to keep up with new developments in her field. Her husband spent most of his waking hours at the office. The couple often left home early in the morning and returned home late at night. On weekends and holidays, they enjoyed traveling or sharing time with friends.

As they approached their mid-30s, the couple's parents and relatives became increasingly critical of their choice. But Liu and her husband felt young and vibrant and fulfilled.

Yet as their friends' children grew older, their parents could not stop talking about them at gatherings. The children's performance in school invariably became a measure of their parents' success. The proud parents sometimes made Liu and her husband feel like they had been defeated in one of life's competitions.

During one trip, Liu and her husband met a lovely and intelligent boy about 10 years old, traveling with his parents who were about Liu's age. Liu liked him very much and played with him. When the boy innocently asked Liu why she had not brought her child along, she was embarrassed.

Now, Liu and her husband increasingly feel that they are getting old. Sometimes they wonder whether it would be better to have a child, so that they can give him or her what they have earned or learned from life.