Upon examination of a Chinese knot, it is easy to marvel at the intricacies and wonder how such designs can originate from a simple string. I believe families can also be woven beautifully to create unbreakable family bonds.

When I married into a Chinese family, I had very little idea of what to expect. Over the last several years, I have observed the likeness of my Chinese family and the Chinese knot. My father and mother in law are simple people who raised three extraordinary children in spite of all the hardships and struggles.

Although I understand that their stories may not differ from many in China, I find myself fascinated and astounded by the struggles and sacrifices my husband's parents make for the love and future of their children. Like most parents, their greatest wish for their children was for a better life filled with success and stability.

There are so many stories my husband tells about his parents, childhood, and adult life before coming to the United States in 2001. As an outsider looking in, it is often difficult to fully connect the stories with my understanding of China being only through history and recent travels. Therefore, I rely heavily on the stories from their memories and my own imagination to view their lives in my mind's eye.

As a child of plenty, I grew up never wanting a lot because I already had so much. Each day with filled with access to television, lots of food, and parents with the ability to provide beyond the basic essentials. My husband reminds me of my good fortune as he contrasts his childhood with mine. He often tells about how his family did not have much and was very poor. His father, a school teacher, would provide the sole income of approximately eight dollars a month for a family of five close to 25 years ago. His mother would work tirelessly each day to care for her children. She walked many miles to find the very basic necessities of water and food. When food rations were given for meat, his family received very little. His parents would often tell the children to eat more because they were not hungry – when in fact they were very hungry. After each meal, everyone would gather into one room with a small bed to sleep. His family did not have electricity until he was 9 years old. However, his parents did not allow the lack of light to be an excuse for the children to skip their studies. He and his sisters would huddle around a flame no bigger than a small bean to complete their homework. Even after a very long day of work, his parents would spend more time with each child critiquing and quizzing to ensure a high grade.

The diligence and determination of his parents to provide has paid off handsomely. Both sisters are incredible individuals with compassion, drive, and high goals. My husband is an amazing husband and father with extraordinary potential in his chosen field of accounting. While he was not born into the family, my brother-in-law also mirrors my husband's parents' values of hard work and drive.

Much like the Chinese knot, each moment of my husband and his family's life has created a bond that is both beautiful and strong. I truly admire the hard work of his parents and the success and wonderful life that each of their children have found. It is a great honor for me, an outsider, to join this wonderful Chinese family and contribute to the beautiful Chinese knot of the Zhang family. 

The author is an American who travels to China frequently