"Where are you from?" This is a familiar question that has accompanied me throughout my elementary years to adulthood. In Warsaw, Poland, where I grew up, this was expected. As a person of Chinese descent, I looked nothing like the blonde-haired, blue-eyed children around me.

When I decided to pursue my master's degree in Beijing, it was out of a desire to reconnect with my Chinese heritage and to be somewhere where I could finally "fit in." However, after living in Beijing for 11 months now, one of the most common questions I am asked, from the hair salon to the club, is: "Where are you from?"—followed by "Are you mixed race?"

To be honest, over the years I've gotten used to people asking me this question all over the world, and the answer has become routine: "I was born in the United States, I grew up in Poland, but I am Chinese."

I have often recited this line in either English or Polish, and always understood why I was being asked.

But the first time I was asked this question in China was in a nightclub, when my (now) best friend came up to me and asked me where I was from and if I was mixed. And it left me feeling stumped.

Nothing about me gave away that I might not be from this part of the world. I speak, look and am Chinese.

The nightclub wasn't an isolated event; after that, more people came up to me and asked me the same thing.

I have wondered why people are inclined to ask me this. Sure, I don't fit the classical Chinese beauty standards: slim, pale-skinned, feminine. I like wearing dark, loose-fitting clothes, I rarely put on any makeup and it's a miracle if I brush my hair in the morning.

However, I knew it wasn't because of my looks that people felt inclined to ask me this. After all, I have been coming to China on an annual basis for a good 20 years and not once during these visits did anyone ask me where I was from.

When I asked my friend why he was asking me this, he told me that the "aura" I was giving off just felt different. I've since been contemplating what that means, and I think it comes down to the difference in cultural values between West and East. Western cultures value individualism and autonomy, while Eastern cultures value collectivism, family ties and social obligations.

I grew up exposed to both value sets. Even though I was raised in Poland, my parents made sure to raise my sister and I according to Chinese values. From them, I learned discipline, respect for my seniors and the importance of maintaining strong family ties. From my friends and growing up in Poland, I learned how to enjoy spending time alone, being in the moment, and the importance of having and maintaining a social life.

As I continue to navigate the intersections of my identity, the question "Where are you from?" echoes a deeper meaning.

I've realized that my answer isn't a simple point on a map or a singular label—it is an intricate blend of memories and lessons learned. I've come to understand that my response isn't merely about a place, but rather a tale of learning to embrace differences and cherishing heritage.

Next time I get the question "Where are you from?" perhaps the only logical answer will be "How much time do you have?"

The author is a U.S. student at Tsinghua University in Beijing 

Copyedited by Elsbeth van Paridon 

Comments to taoxing@cicgamericas.com